Hi, I’m Stef. I’m an adoptive mom to a sibling group of three. I’m also a foster mom, godmother, or just ”Momma Stef” to many kids who have come to live in our home. Over the course of our foster care journey, we have learned that a strong support system is invaluable. 

Before we married, my husband and I felt called to foster care. On the same day we found out we were a certified foster family we received our first placement call. The agency had a sibling group who had  spent three years in foster care and needed a forever home. We went from zero to three kids and quickly realized we couldn’t do this on our own. 

We have been the recipients of unimaginable acts of kindness. People dropped off clothes, meals appeared out of nowhere and people volunteered to watch our kids. This gave us time to rest and reset our home and hearts. We were able to mentally and logistically prepare for the week. Despite overwhelming support from our family, friends, and church community, in some ways we still felt isolated and alone. We desperately needed connection with those who understood our experience.  

I began to cultivate community by inviting a few foster, adoptive, and prospective foster moms to read through Jamie Finn’s book titled Foster the Family. We met twice a month in my living room and talked through the ideas in the book. This “book club” quickly became a safe place for us to share our own unique struggles and challenges. A year later, I explored the idea of starting a support group through Foster the Family. Sitting with these women helped me feel seen and understood and I longed to create a similar space for other moms. 

After applying, interviewing, and training, I launched the Foster the Family support group in Norfolk. The support group is a monthly, guided, topically themed meeting with video training and a guided group discussion. The goal is for foster, adoptive, and kinship moms to leave feeling equipped, connected, and supported as they care for the children in their homes.

Over the years, we have learned the importance of support groups for foster, adoptive and kinship caregivers. Gathering together gives us the opportunity to instill hope and be reminded we’re not alone. Across the state of Virginia there are four different Foster the Family support groups. On their website you can find location and time information. If there isn’t one near you, reach out to your local agency or faith community to find a support group.

Editor’s note: If you live in the Norfolk area and are interested in visiting Stef’s Foster the Family support group, please check our events section for details. If not, reach out to your local agency or faith community to find a support group in your area